A friend of
mine recently told me that he had been 'unfriended' on
Facebook by someone he once cared for. While this
gesture saddened him, he knew that it was the final
goodbye in a relationship that had run its course. I
told him that he had to honor this person's choice and
accept that they had gone as far as they could together.
He would find new friends. And it made me think about my
own recent 'unfriended' experiences.
who were very close to me recently unfriended me for
reasons I do not understand but since both incidents
happened after I refused to do something for them, I
assume that I am no longer their Facebook friend because
my decision interferes with the role they want me to
play in their life. And I have to admit that it is a
role I have played for many years, being their friend,
rescuer, supporter, the shoulder they cry on when they
need one and the person they turn to when they have an
emotional or financial problem.
But when they
weren't in need I was the invisible person in their
life, an optional accessory they could use at will. And
when I turned down the most recent opportunity to offer
help and support, they let me know that my presence was
no longer required. And that's all right by me.
the new way in which we relate to people and it has
become the new measure of social popularity. If we have
lots of friends (disregard the fact that we may not know
most of them) we are considered popular. Fewer friends
means we aren't 'with it'. But these anonymous
friendships also offer the opportunity to end a
friendship with the click of the 'unlike' button.
Presto, we are no longer friends. No muss, no fuss, no
drama or uncomfortable conversations.
If this is
someone we like it can be upsetting. But we can offer
our gratitude to those people who take the 'unfriend'
step because they are letting us know that we no longer
have to fulfill our role in their life. We are not
socially undesirable to everyone, just to them. Is this
an insult? I consider it a blessing. The people who
decide they no longer want us in their life do so
because (as was in my case), we are no longer useful to
them. While that may sound harsh, it is true. When we do
not fulfill specific roles for them, they can't get what
they want from us on an energetic level. So we are free
and they can find someone else who will meet those
everyone you support, befriend, are an emotional or
financial anchor for and rescuer of suddenly told you
they no longer wanted you in their life? Would you be
happy or sad?
you would be relieved, maybe a little bit happy and
perhaps even a little sad because after all you have
done for them that they can so easily write you out of
their life is upsetting. But there is an upside.
In my case, I
am glad to be relieved of my self imposed role in their
lives. So I am grateful to those who unfriended me
because I was feeling very used and unappreciated. My
time and energy investments were enormous and I never
received anything in return. In fact, it is perfectly
all right that I no longer feel obligated to be the
giver in these relationships because that frees me on so
many levels and allows me to create new friendships that
are more energetically balanced and fulfilling.
relieved and somewhat happy about this is a new paradigm
for me. There was a time when I wanted to be part of
their life and to have their approval. And I made many
personal sacrifices to do that. But I just don't want to
do that any more because I have cleared those
connections, released that karma and I want all of my
relationships to reflect my level of spiritual growth
and the healing and transformation work that I have
Do you have
friends (and family) who take from you without giving
you anything in return? Are there people in your life
who treat you like an optional accessory -- you're there
when they need you and you are not when they don't? Who
meets your needs and really cares that they are
fulfilled? Who insists that you meet their needs, no
matter what is convenient, right or best for you?
What if you
'unfriended' them? Would you be relieved, sad, happy or
September's first newsletter I wrote that this was a
time for us to get clear on what we wanted in our life
and that includes the people we will interact with as
well as how we want others to treat us.
Make a list
of the people who love, honor and respect you. Then make
a second list of those who take advantage of you, are
needy, demanding and who take but never give you
anything in return. Which list do you want to keep as
your friends? Focus on releasing the relationships that
do not serve you and then let them find their way to the
door. They will be replaced by people who can be your
Stay calm, focused, detached and aware and remember your
thoughts are creating every moment of your life. Think
the best ones.
As you ponder this and the other things that are
happening at this time (Mercury is finally out of
retrograde, so it's time to move forward now), remember
Accept all gifts of understanding with gratitude and use
them to apply forgiveness, release and healing to every
Ask for guidance and confirmation and then wait for it
to come to you.
Above all, be grateful for this opportunity to be part
of humanity's amazing shift in consciousness as we all
ascend into the miracle vibration.
Many blessings in these miraculous and amazing times,
PS: Remember the radio show is tonight, 8PM US central
PS: and yes, the
program students are creating some amazing changes in
their lives! I will update you on the
Wednesday radio show.
You can still sign up for this life changing course,